
i know what you’re thinking.
these look delicious, right?
freshly baked muffins, still cooling down, ready to be scoffed.
W R O N G.
allow me to present the greatest cooking disaster of 2012 (i hope): the hi-fibre muffins.
this recipe came from a book which will not be named that i was given when i first turned vegetarian as a teenager. okay, so it was the 90s, and cool vegetarian cookbooks didn’t yet exist; most recipes seemed to be for some kind of ‘patty’ or ‘pasty’ and relied on copious amounts of cheese for flavour. thank god things have changed.
anyway, this book which will not be named was slightly more ‘out-there’ than most and included this muffin recipe with notes along the line of ‘we guarantee no-one will ever be able to guess the secret ingredient of these delicious treats!’.
well, cookbook which will not be named: i would change that description to something more akin to ‘we guarantee no-one will ever be able to get the taste out of their mouth, and NOT IN A GOOD WAY’.
for, dear readers, the secret ingredient is baked beans.
okay: i understand that many, perhaps most of you would have skipped straight past this recipe, perhaps with a chortle, perhaps with a strange feeling of nausea in the pit of your stomach.
i wish i had been so wise.
because despite the two cups of sugar, the soaked currants, the vanilla bean and the cinnamon (and i didn’t exactly go easy on the cinnamon), despite all these strong, ‘heroic’ flavours (to adopt a very ‘masterchef’ term), these muffins just TASTE LIKE BAKED BEANS.
the slightly sour, tinny taste of baked beans. minus any kind of nice beany texture as they were beaten into a liquidy pulp before mixing the currants in.
shudder.
as i write this, i realise how foolish i was to think that this recipe would be a success. part of me is in shock; the other part in pain. and i only ate one.
but, readers; the recipe said that you couldn’t taste the beans! i thought it might be like a chocolate and zucchini cake: who can taste the zucchini in a chocolate and zucchini cake?! no-one! and have you ever tried cakes that have red lentils in them? delicious! and not to mention carrot cake. who doesn’t like carrot cake?! no-one!
who likes eating sweet muffins with a vaguely metallic tomato sauce aftertaste?
NO-ONE.